Are you tired of having to blindly choose a subway line based on nothing more than your desired destination? Well, those dark days are over. With this handy clip-or-carefully-tear-'N-save guide, you’ll always know which trains are sub-par, and which are sub-tastic!
— A decent, solid, all around subway train, the B will get you from the Upper West Side to the Village in around 15 minutes, which is much better than you'd do on a bus, or even in a cab, depending on the time of day. Most cars are moderately clean, and most platforms are relatively well-lit, with easy access and adequate signage.
GRADE: A
— Nothing says "the East Side" like the 4 train. While it lacks the near-sinful luxury of the A train, the 4 gets high marks for efficiency, cleanliness, and the Matisse (reproductions) that adorn the walls of each car. The mints are a nice touch, and for a trip from Grand Central to Grand Army Plaza, you won't find much better.
GRADE: B
— Plagued with homeless people, roving gangs, and extraordinarily full-throated religious zealots of every conceivable denomination, the F train is a true post-apocalyptic nightmare. On the average trip from the Lower East Side to Herald Square, you can expect to be mugged, stabbed, insulted, and urinated on, often simultaneously. Fares run anywhere from $20 to $300 depending on the whims of the crooked tyrants that operate this line's token booths. If you absolutely must take this train, make sure you hug your family and put your affairs in order before you board.
GRADE: F
— Where do we begin with the A train, the shining jewel in the MTA crown? Fabled in story and song, the A is perhaps best known as Duke Ellington's mass-transit muse. Fresh cut flowers and soft chamber music grace each car, and the complimentary shiatsu massage is to die for. Riders can expect both their waistlines and wallets to swell, thanks to the A's divine foie gras and can't-miss stock tips. Be sure to ask your personal transit facilitator about gift certificates!
No comments:
Post a Comment