Interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."                    

Teacher Vs Student

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"                    

Reporter Vs Man

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

తాళం

భార్య: ఎమండి...! నెను పాడతాను  మీరు తాళం వేస్తార?

భర్త: అలాగె మొదలెట్టు అని .... ఆవిడ పాట అందుకోగానె లేచి గధి భయట తాళం వేసి వెల్లిపోయాడు.

Look 2 Nature

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie -- just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

Types of lough

Funny Babies Dancing

Dolphin Days at SeaWorld San Diego

Discipline Dogs Videos

Funny Chickens

Animals can be so annoying - Funny animal

Best funny - Whatsapp Funny Video

Husband:  came to home and get surprised when he saw the home. Then asking his wife "Wow Darling, our house is so clean. Was the WhatsApp server down today?

Wife:  No Darling, I lost my phone charger, had to put things in place to look for it!

Married male friends

Friend 1 :  asked to another friend what happens to your body injuries?

Friend 2:   no... no... my wife knew my facebook account password...!

Wife Vs Husband

Wife :  Why are you in the home so...early?

Husband:  My boss told me to go to hell...!!!!!!

Police vs Walker

Police: Where do you Live?
Walker: With you Parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?
Walker: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?
Walker: together.

Police: Where is your House?
Walker: Next to my neighbors house.

Police: Where is your neighbours house?
Walker: you won't belive me if I tell you.

Police: Tell me
Walker: Next to my house.

Patient vs Friend

in Hospital

When you are in Hospital 

                                        your friend   ask "Hey, how are you dear?"

But your best friend  asks as

                                                  "Hey Buddy, How is the Nurse?"

Student vs Teacher

A Quesstion by a Student to the Teacher

If A single teacher can't able to teach us all the subjects

then

How could you expect a single student to learn and write exams all the subjects.....?????

HOMEWORK

H O M E W O R K

H - Half
O - Of
M - My
E - Energy
W - Wasted
O - On
R - Random
K - Knowledge

Consulting Doctor

A woman and her husband go to the doctor because the woman is complaining of shortness of breath. After fifteen minutes, the woman comes out into the waiting room and says, "Apparently, my problem is that I have a nice cooter."

"Excuse me?" says the husband.

"That's what the doctor said.

My problem is that I have a nice cooter."

 The husband is a bit angry and goes in to talk to the doctor.

"What's this about my wife having a nice cooter? I need a damn good explanation."

"That's not what I said," replies the doctor. "I said she has acute angina."

Bedside Confession between couple

Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.

Julie: "I should warn you, Ted: I've got acute angina."
Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."

Two Neighbors

Guest: open the door
Most: Who is it?

Guest: your neighber?
Most: what do you want?

Guest: I want to chit chat with you!
Most: How many are you came?

Guest: we are 2
Most: you can task with each other! Good Bye ****

Mind Your Own Business - wife and husband

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

"Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them!

"Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!!!"