Married male friends

Friend 1 :  asked to another friend what happens to your body injuries?

Friend 2:   no... no... my wife knew my facebook account password...!

Wife Vs Husband

Wife :  Why are you in the home so...early?

Husband:  My boss told me to go to hell...!!!!!!

Police vs Walker

Police: Where do you Live?
Walker: With you Parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?
Walker: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?
Walker: together.

Police: Where is your House?
Walker: Next to my neighbors house.

Police: Where is your neighbours house?
Walker: you won't belive me if I tell you.

Police: Tell me
Walker: Next to my house.

Patient vs Friend

in Hospital

When you are in Hospital 

                                        your friend   ask "Hey, how are you dear?"

But your best friend  asks as

                                                  "Hey Buddy, How is the Nurse?"

Student vs Teacher

A Quesstion by a Student to the Teacher

If A single teacher can't able to teach us all the subjects

then

How could you expect a single student to learn and write exams all the subjects.....?????

HOMEWORK

H O M E W O R K

H - Half
O - Of
M - My
E - Energy
W - Wasted
O - On
R - Random
K - Knowledge

Consulting Doctor

A woman and her husband go to the doctor because the woman is complaining of shortness of breath. After fifteen minutes, the woman comes out into the waiting room and says, "Apparently, my problem is that I have a nice cooter."

"Excuse me?" says the husband.

"That's what the doctor said.

My problem is that I have a nice cooter."

 The husband is a bit angry and goes in to talk to the doctor.

"What's this about my wife having a nice cooter? I need a damn good explanation."

"That's not what I said," replies the doctor. "I said she has acute angina."

Bedside Confession between couple

Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.

Julie: "I should warn you, Ted: I've got acute angina."
Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."

Two Neighbors

Guest: open the door
Most: Who is it?

Guest: your neighber?
Most: what do you want?

Guest: I want to chit chat with you!
Most: How many are you came?

Guest: we are 2
Most: you can task with each other! Good Bye ****

Mind Your Own Business - wife and husband

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

"Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them!

"Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!!!"